Freaks
by flooj9235
Summary: After a long day of Butch teasing her and being trained to be the next Overseer, Amata drops by to see the Lone Wanderer and calm down. Amata's obviously upset, and it doesn't take much for her to voice the insecurities Butch and her father have brought to light. F!LW/Amata. Femslash. Oneshot.


My hands are sticky and black, I smell like grease, and I can already feel a few bruises forming. I'm craving a shower, but there's still a smile on my face. As bad as some of the options on the GOAT were, helping out down in the reactor is sort of fun. I like having the power to keep everything in check, and the reasoning out of how to solve problems that come up. It's a nice distraction from Brotch's lectures on the history of the position of Overseer, and gives me a chance to actually work my brain during the day.

I climb the stairs to the level our apartment is on, wondering what my dad'll have brought for dinner. A glance at my Pipboy tells me I actually beat him off work and have a good hour until he arrives back home. That gives me plenty of time to shower, and I enter our apartment with a grin, hurrying to change and get in the shower before the grease stains become permanent.

I've just climbed out and pulled on a fresh jumpsuit when I hear the door chime from out in the living room. I grumble, hoping it's not Beatrice, and rub a towel over my head, heading out of the bathroom to answer the door. I put on my best polite smile and open the door, relieved to see Amata there. "Hey!"

She mumbles a response, looking lost in thought. "Can I come in?"

I step out of the way immediately, closing the door behind her. The back of my neck is prickling and I can tell something isn't right. "What's wrong?" I ask, following my best friend across the apartment to the couch.

She sits on one end of the couch, hugging a throw pillow to her chest and chewing her lower lip like she always does when she's upset. I sit on the opposite end, giving her a cautious look. I'm about to ask her again when she sighs. Amata looks over at me finally, something foreign in her eyes for a split second before she blinks and it's gone. A tired smile appears on her face. "How was work?"

I wrinkle my nose in answer, remembering the color of the water that had come off me in the shower. "Imagine all the grease Butch puts in his hair, then pretend you dipped me in a vat of it and rubbed me in soot. That's about what I looked like coming home. It was disgusting." The words put a genuine smile on her face and I relax, glad to see it.

It doesn't last, though, and after a moment Amata retreats into herself again.

"What's wrong?" I ask softly, hoping the question won't just upset her further. In the back of my mind, I'm running through every single scenario that could have happened and wondering who I'll need to beat up this time. Anyone that crosses Amata has to answer to me; everyone seems to pick on her, and I care about her too much to let her just take it. Her dad won't do anything, though I'm not sure she's actually ever told him.

Amata sighs, hugging the pillow a little closer. "Just... nothing. My dad's been teaching me the philosophy of the Overseer, and... It sucks sometimes."

I make a noise of sympathy, not sure what to do. "I'm sorry." No one seems terribly fond of listening to the Overseer, and imagining having to live with him blows my mind. It amazes me that Amata hasn't lost her mind or moved out, but she does love her dad, so I won't say anything.

It occurs to me that it's been a long day, especially for her. When I'd gotten to class that morning, Amata had been surrounded by the Tunnel Snakes, and they were all jeering at her. They left her alone when I gave them a dirty look, but Amata seemed oddly affected for the rest of the day.

"Is that it?" I ask after a moment, wondering if anything else is wrong.

Amata looks over at me sharply, her dark eyes studying me for a few moments. Finally she nods, picking at a loose thread on the pillow. "Yeah. He's just getting on my nerves."

I'm not convinced, not in the slightest, and I ease closer to her on the couch, reaching out to touch her shoulder. "C'mon, 'Mata, what's bugging you?" She doesn't respond right away, and I continue. "Was it something Butch said? I can go beat him up for you."

My words bring tears to her eyes and she looks away quickly, trying to hide them from me. I'm instantly angry, but I try to keep my voice gentle so I won't upset her. "What'd he say today?"

Amata shakes her head and shrugs away from my touch, drawing a trembling breath before moving to get up.

Something inside me aches at the way she brushed me off, but I don't make a move to catch her. "Amata?"

She hesitates, facing away from me as she puts the pillow down and wraps her arms around herself anxiously. Amata inhales like she's going to speak, so I don't say anything, rising to my feet and moving toward her.

"He just... I mean..." Amata sighs, wiping at her eyes before giving me an uncertain glance. She bites her lip, studying me, and I see a flurry of emotions pass through her eyes. It's almost like she's trying to see through me, to find the answer to some question she hasn't asked.

Even as upset as she looks, I'm struck by how much I care about her. It was no surprise to me that I had developed a crush on my best friend, but I was carefully guarding that secret, desperate not to lose her. Still, seeing tears in her eyes and their trails down her cheeks hurts me deep inside, and I want nothing more than to hold her and make it all okay.

"It was... I was worried because you were late, and Butch started... He started calling you my girlfriend and saying we were freaks. Him and the rest of his gang kept telling me that it's our civic duty to procreate or whatever, and... Ugh."

The disgust in her voice stings, but the rest of the statement has me on edge. "... Really."

Amata isn't looking at me. "Yeah."

I'm not sure what to say, given the reaction she's having to the memory. I don't want to upset her more, but part of me is itching to figure out why this bothers her so much. "Freaks, huh? That's not any worse than anything else he's called us over the years."

She's quiet for a moment, but a still-bothered sigh escapes her. "No, but..."

"But?"

Amata brushes tears out of her eyes and bites at her lip again. She stays quiet for so long I worry she'll drop the topic and leave, but when she speaks, her voice is soft and anxious. "But what if he's right?"

"Butch? C'mon, 'Mata, he's dumber than a bag of rocks." I offer her a smile, hoping to soothe her worry. "Him being right about anything isn't anything anyone needs to worry about. Besides," I continue, doing my best to keep my voice casual, "last time I checked, we weren't dating, so I guess there's nothing to worry about there."

Amata doesn't look consoled; she drops her gaze to the floor and takes a slow, shaky breath. "I guess not."

The tone of her voice stings and I cringe. I'm pretty sure I've said something wrong, but she's upset and I don't want to make it worse, so I just stand there and keep my mouth shut.

There's a few moments of tense silence and I'm expecting her to just tell me to forget about it and leave. Thanks to her father and the lack of affectionate people in her life, dealing with her emotions is usually just suppressing them and being the strong future Overseer the Vault needs. I've tried to tell her it's not healthy and that she can let it all out, but all I ever get is strange looks and a promise that she'll be fine.

"Do you know what all my dad has been trying to teach me?" Amata asks quietly. "All the picky little details?"

I'm not sure if I'm supposed to answer, but it ends up not mattering, because Amata turns and looks up at me, her eyes flashing, and continues.

"I'm trying my best to listen, but he keeps talking about this stupid code of conduct the Vault is supposed to follow." She laughs bitterly. "According to him and his morality code, I'm a freak, too. Nothing I do is ever good enough, not for him. I didn't realize how big of a disappointment I was until this supervisory track thing."

Her words are full of resigned pain, and I don't know what to respond to first. "You're not a freak, Amata."

"Oh yeah?" In the next second, her hands have caught hold of my jumpsuit and she crashes her lips into mine.

I'm in a daze when she pulls away, my mind spinning. I have to remind myself that Amata's still upset and focus on that to keep myself from celebrating and kissing her again.

"I like girls." Amata spits the words out like they taste rotten. "All those feelings Susie says she has for Butch? I've got those, but they're..." She hesitates before sighing frustratedly. "The hell with it. I like you. Out of all the people in the Vault, it had to be you."

"Thanks a lot," I manage, trying to shove the giddy feeling in my chest away so I can focus on Amata.

"My dad keeps telling me that feelings like mine are perverted and wrong, and anyone with them needs to be thrown into the jail." Amata looks near tears. "It's like he knows and keeps rubbing my face in how wrong I am."

"There's nothing wrong with you, Amata." My tone is forceful enough to shut her up. "If you're a freak, then I'm one too."

Amata looks at me, confusion obvious in her eyes. "Wh-"

"So what if Butch was on the right track?" I shrug, hoping I'm not making a grave mistake. "I like girls, too," I clarify.

Amata pales and starts stammering, but I don't miss the hope in her eyes. I grin at her and move forward, catching her face in my hands and gazing at her fondly.

"I think I love you, 'Mata," I confess before kissing her.

The door hisses open just as Amata relaxes against me, and we spring apart. I'm halfway terrified it's the Overseer, but my dad is standing in the doorway, his head cocked slightly as he studies us.

I relax immediately, but Amata looks like she's going to pass out and braces for a tirade.

My dad just steps inside and closes the door. "Hello Amata. Would you like to stay for dinner?" He pats my shoulder fondly as he walks past me, and I could swear he winks at me.

Amata shoots me a confused expression. "... Sir?"

"Would you like to stay for dinner?" Dad's voice is calm and soothing.

"I... My dad's probably waiting on me," Amata manages, obviously flustered. She moves for the door, muttering a quick goodbye.

"Amata."

She freezes at the sound of my dad's voice, cringing with her hand on the door switch. It takes her a minute, but she turns around to face us, barely able to maintain eye contact.

"You don't have to be afraid to be yourself, not here." He smiles at her gently. "I'm not sure what your father would have to say about this, but I can imagine it wouldn't be... Well. You have a bright future ahead of you, and if you face it with another girl at your side, there's nothing wrong with that."

Amata's eyes flick up and study my dad, searching for some sort of deceit. She finds none and her shoulders sag, tears filling her eyes as she manages a smile. She comes over and shakes his hand, looking surprised when my dad hugs her. "Thank you," she mumbles, seeming to revel in the affection.

I can't help but smile as I watch; my coming out had been painless when I finally worked up the courage. Amata's father is nothing like mine, and I can only imagine how wonderful and alien the support Dad is giving her must be.

Amata beams at me when she steps away, looking like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. "Thank you," she says again, smiling at both of us. "I really should go. My dad will start wondering where I am." Even the mention of her father doesn't dim the light in her eyes, and she blushes before stepping over and kissing me on the cheek gently. "See you tomorrow."

Amata leaves soon after, and the minute the door shuts, I turn to grin at my dad.

"Thanks for that. She needed it."

He nods thoughtfully before turning a frown on me.

I cringe away, expecting to get in trouble for something I don't remember doing.

"No hankypanky," he warns, his stern expression turning into a grin at the mortified look on my face. "You two... The Overseer won't be happy if he finds out. This is a safe place, so long as you keep the bedroom activities in the bedroom and out of earshot."

"Dad!" I whine.

He just laughs. "I remember what it's like to be young," he comments. "Just... be safe and don't keep me up at night, all right?"

I groan and look away to hide my flaming cheeks. "I can't believe this."

Dad just laughs and shrugs his lab coat off. "Ready for dinner, honey?"

My stomach growls at the mere mention of a meal and we laugh. Dad tells me a few stories as we walk to the diner, and I get lost in thought. Amata and I have a few things to discuss, that much is obvious, but I have a feeling that everything is going to be just fine.


End file.
